...And A Diet Coke

I hate starting these things out with apologies, but given the dearth of entries lately, I feel like I should.

So I'm sorry. There. I said it. I'm sorry I haven't been blogging and I'm sorry my life just hasn't been that interesting lately. I've also been "hanging out" with Facebook a lot, which has been, therefore, getting more play with my photos, etc. I'll try and be better.

Apology Over.

Time for the real reason for this post.

I went to the grocery store twice this week. Note* This. Never. Happens. Twice in a month...much more likely. I'm a fickle grocery store goer.

My attendance at the market, however, has been a good deal more regular as of late because of Safeway's sweet gas discount and the fact that they just put in a gorgeous new store that just happens to be on my way home from work. Fab.

So, I've started doing my grocery shopping on Mondays. I make my list towards the end of the work day, and then on my way home I stop in, get the week's supplies, and don't worry about it for the rest of the week. It's a pretty good system, if I do say so myself.

So, with my renewed commitment to regular grocery runs, I've also been making a concerted effort to only buy and make really good healthy food. I love this, and it makes me feel like a real human being, instead of a college student eating ramen on my couch for the third time in a week...not that I would still ever do that at 26...ahem....

Anyway

So I made my weekly grocery run on Monday. Things I bought included fresh spinach, strawberries, tomatoes, bell peppers, snap peas, whole grain pasta, fresh fish and hummus. I felt so proud as I pushed my little cart full of actual adult human food through the store. Lovely.

On Wednesday, I had to make a grocery run to prep for a party that I am helping to throw for one of my best friends. She is turning 25 and so we decided to have a "Young At Heart" party. We themed it around all those great 80's and 90's morning cartoons, are setting up a Slip n' Slide, and there may or may not be a shaving cream fight.

For food, we decided to have kid stuff. Popsicles, watermelon, cake, etc. Since I was in charge of food, and was looking at a full schedule for the rest of the week I decided to get it done a few days early. Also, I needed to fill up my tank and was just a few dollars shy of my $.20 gas discount. Bless you, Safeway.

So, I went to the grocery store. This time I was much less proud of what ended up in my cart. Popsicles of 3 or 4 different varieties, chocolate pudding, Oreos, Cool Whip, gummy worms, a huge bag of mixed candy, chips, salsa, cream cheese, sour cream, and a frozen pizza (okay, that last one wasn't for the party, but a girl has to be prepared for the unexpected). I felt fatter just looking at the stuff, and prayed I wouldn't run into any really attractive looking fit people...they would judge me, I just knew it.

On my way out of the store, I realized that on Monday I had forgotten bread. My FAVORITE kind of bread is called Health Nut. It is called this because it is chock full of yummy grains and things. It is tasty. I buy it even though it is in that snobby double wrapped packaging. I don't care. It tastes good.

I ran to the back of the store, grabbed my Health Nut bread, and tossed it in my cart next to the Cool Whip and Oreos. I snagged a spot in line and started to check out.

I put my items on the belt. I am very conscious of the fact that people who bag groceries Just. Don't. Care. I don't blame them. Because of this, I make sure and put squishy things or things I don't want broken on the belt last. This means the grocery baggers don't actually have to think, and I don't end up with one huge lump of mashed bread.

So, of course, the last thing to go on the belt was my beloved Health Nut bread. The girl scanning my groceries was apparently paying more attention than I usually give credit to grocery store employees for paying, and when she picked up the bread and read the label she looked at it, then looked at my bags full of sugar and saturated fat laden foods, then looked at me with a face that said "Seriously? Nice Try."

The only thing I can compare it to is when you're standing behind that 300+ pound individual at any given fast food joint and you hear them say:

"I'll have a double bacon cheeseburger, a large fry, and an apple pie...Oh, and a Diet Coke."

Nice Try.

I thought about explaining myself. I thought about telling her that I am a devotee of fresh spinach and anything involving citrus. I thought about telling her how much fun the party was going to be because we were all going to act like little kids. Instead, I just smiled sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders.

I'm pretty sure there's no Safeway Inner Circle Club that I'll be denied membership from for trying to pose as a healthy eater when I'm a closet sugar addict. Even if there is...

Oh well.

Happy Friday to You and Yours!

Good Karma...

Karma Whitaker...

That was the name of the woman I met in the temple last night. She was little, and stooped and smiley. Her name was printed clearly on her white nametag.

Karma Whitaker.

It made me wish my name was Karma. Maybe it would remind me to be nicer to people at the grocery store, and to not yell when I drive, and to not leave my dirty dishes in the sink, or mutter things about my boss in my head that may or may not pass the PG-13 rating cut.

I doubt that Karma Whitaker is in charge of doling out much actual Karma. But I think, just in case, I will start trying to rack up more of the good kind of Karma. The Karma Whitaker kind of Karma. The soft, smiling, stooped kind of Karma that leaves you quite pleased with yourself at the end of a long, productive and happy life.

That's the kind of Karma I'm after.

Derby Girls...

Last weekend three of my favorite friends and I got in my Honda and drove to Louisville (pronounced Lo-ah-ville for those of you not in the know) for the 135th Kentucky Derby.We packed up the car and left Virginia at about 3:00pm. We had all-girls road trip mixes in the stereo, goodies in the cooler, and large, flamboyant hats proudly displayed in the rear window. We were on our way.
About 15 minutes later the traffic had slowed to a crawl, and we were nervous that it was going to be a very long trip--almost 1500 miles in 3 days. It was a bad sign seeing as how rush hour hadn't even hit yet. Suddenly we saw to our right a black bump that looked like part of a tire. On closer inspection we saw that it was a large black snake that looked like a cobra, but had no hood. We watched it as we passed by and wondered where it had come from and how it had managed to survive its journey thus far. In India, it is an omen of success to see a snake crawling about in the road before you. Little did we know that the snake we saw within the first 30 minutes of our trip would portend a huge road trip success.

The traffic cleared shortly after we saw the snake and we drove straight through--with the exception of a very abbreviated stop at the shadiest Arby's I have ever seen--and stopped for the night in Lexington, about an hour away from Louisville. The next morning we woke up and got dolled up for the Derby.
We really didn't know what to expect. It was our first time at the Derby. We had tickets for the infield, the large grassy area in the center of the track. We managed to stake out a spot amongst several large groups of men. They found us delightful. Incidentally, the more mint juleps they consumed, the more delightful we became. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was less "My Fair Lady" and the Ascot Races and more "Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby." Think NASCAR...only with less, um, horsepower.

So, the following is a little documentation of our derby experience.
Jen and Michelle were so happy to be at the derby!

As it turns out, hugging while wearing large hats is hard...It's okay, we worked it out

Someone placed this lovely sticker on Michelle's bum. It says "I Got Lucky With Someone From Kentucky" Looks like someone was hoping they'd be lucky enough to get that close to Michelle!

I don't think we will be shocked by anything after the Derby

Other stickers we saw that day included one that said "Talk Derby to Me." While the Derby was full of new and interesting sights and adventures, we were constantly amazed at the sheer number of MEN that we saw. They were everywhere. Huge groups of them. Hunting Buddies. Frat Boys. Office Associates. Family Groups. Biker Gangs. The odd thing was that these groups were lacking one thing that usually goes hand in hand with groups of men...Women. Not one. Even stranger was that these groups of men were HOT. I'm not trying to be shallow, but seriously. I know where all the attractive men have been hiding...KENTUCKY! Unfortunately, sorting them into "sober" and "not sober" categories would have taken days. So we were forced to just enjoy the eye candy.

The Twin Spires of Churchill Downs

Jen and I bet on the ponies. We know we shouldn't have, but we did it anyway. Too bad we didn't put any money on "Mine That Bird"...50:1 odds...Wow.

Anne made fresh chicken salad sandwiches. What is more Derby than fresh chicken salad and coke?

The men next to us tried to by us drinks. All three groups of them. On a couple of different occasions. This led to an interesting opportunity to discuss why we didn't drink, where we went to school, and how we really were just there to have a good time, yes, without alcohol. They were fascinated. One of them wanted to marry Anne. Right then and there. She was "the most beautiful woman [he] had ever seen." By the time we left he "Didn't think he didn't want to never see [her] again." That was probably 4 or 5 mint juleps later. Go figure.

It's all about the Hats.

After the Derby we drove to Charleston, West Virginia and spent the night. Charleston is a cute little mining town with a beautiful capitol building and adorable historic district. We slept in, ate waffles at the hotel and then wandered around taking pictures at the capitol.

Anne, Michelle and Jen in front of the Capitol.

One of my Besties!

Midge and Jen fooling around at the capitol.

One of my all time favorite pics of Michelle.

After enjoying the scenery in Charleston, we drove to Jen's home...Miller Farm, nestled in a little valley just over the Virginia/West Virginia state line. There we had one of the most amazing lunches on record with Mama and Papa Miller and the crew. Farm fresh pork roast, mashed potatoes, hot biscuits, and fresh-picked morels. We were in heaven. After dinner we helped feed the bum-calf, saw the pigs, and enjoyed the fresh mountain air. Made me miss home. After a long and sad goodbye to Miller Farm and all its charms, we drove the rest of the way home and back into the real world. A safe end to a very successful and memorable trip.

I love these girls. They are a priceless part of what makes my life so wonderful. Thanks for an amazing weekend, ladies.

A Memo on Noisy Avian Lovemaking...

Dear Birds,

In the interest of our future relationship and my personal sanity I feel it is important to address the following issue outright.

I appreciate the difficulty of finding love in this day and age. It is not easy. I cannot imagine it being any easier if you are a Swallow, or a Thrush, or a Dove. Finding a mate is no easy task. Trust me, I know.

I can only imagine the ecstasy one must feel at finally having found "The One." A truly miraculous occurence, no doubt.

However, this does not negate the fact that whilst the better part of your kind are in the throes of springtime joy, there are others of us who are trying to carry on with the general day-to-day of it all.

In short, what I'm trying to say is if we could keep the pre-5am amorous chirping to a minimum (and by minimum I am implying total and complete elimination) that would be fantastic. It's not that I don't appreciate the springtime miracle unfolding outside my window, it's just that I would rather not have to wake up to it before the sun has even considered rousting itself out of its bed.

In conclusion, I think we can make this relationship work. You keep the announcement of early morning lovemaking quiet, and I, in turn, will keep an eye on my neighbor's cat. I also believe such an arrangement will prevent sleep deprivation on my part. This is good for you in that it will prevent me from having a psychotic break from reality which may or may not cause me to throw rocks at your nest come summer. It's your call.

Very Respectfully,

Amanda

Go, Humans, Go!

Saw THIS on the side of a bus this morning as I was walking to work in the rain...again.

I can't tell if I should be encouraged by the Quaker man, or if he is taunting me as he rushes by, splashing dirty street water on my shoes.

Maybe I should just take the subliminal message for what it is and start eating more Oatmeal.

I still think that mostly I dislike being told what to do...particularly by a smirking Quaker man plastered to the side of a Mass Transit vehicle.

The Universe Hates Me: Part Duh...

I like to take care of my body.

I work out, I eat right, and I get enough sleep if that is humanly possible.

But, SOMETIMES you just get a craving. And I, personally, think it's okay to give in to those cravings every once in a while.

So today, when I was REALLY craving a nice, juicy burger I decided to forego my usual lunch- time salad and hit the grill. I figured I was justified...I ran 10 miles on Sunday, and had to skip lunch on Monday...so I've got a few calories to spare.

So, I went to the grill. Grabbed my burger and fries and headed back to the desk, probably more excited than I should have been about a burger...especially one from the cafeteria.

When I unwrapped said burger, what I got was not the warm, juicy piece of American beef I had been hoping for...but something that looked a good deal more like a hocky puck, or a charcoal briquette, than something for actual consumption.

Sigh...

Fine Universe. You Win. Lesson Learned.

Dang, I hate it when you're right.

SURPRISE...

Well, after an overwhelming response on the hair question....

I Did It.


My hairdresser was thrilled that I was finally letting him cut it off. He skipped around the chair like a school boy...detailing every part of the cut...Kind of like when the pilot tells you how he's gonna get you where it says on your ticket on a commercial plane flight...In my head I was thinking "okay, sure...just make it look like the photo..."

Close Enough.

So, you asked for it...You got it! Here are a few pics. Don't ask my why I'm not smiling in any of them. Probably because I had to take them myself (narcissistic, I know...but no one else was around and I had been threatened with pain of death if I didn't post these ASAP) and when I smile in self-photos I look weird. So Deal.


So the question is...Does the New 'Do mean I'll be getting in New Trouble...?

I Certainly Hope So!

Stay Tuned!